Things Left Unsaid
by Lapis Love
Summary: Written from Damon's POV his musings about Katherine's death and then a visitor who pops up uninvited to his bedroom to dispense words he never thought he'd hear in a million years. My take on what should have gone down during the 100th episode. Summary sucks but I think this is kind of awesome.


**A/N: In lieu of watching tonight's episode I decided to write my take on the 100****th**** episode. More to the matter focusing on the Datherine interaction and a Bamon scene that should have happened the NIGHT Bonnie had been resurrected. In my head canon Beremy has not gone all the way, and Delena is still very much over. I like to think of this as a bridge leading instead to Terabithia but to Bamon-land. This is a One-Shot only. Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: These characters are the creative property of LJ Smith and The CW. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Did you want your entire life, your entire existence to boil down to one moment that would turn out to be insignificant? Did you want one thing, or person, or experience to define you? Those questions sprung up as I stood over Katherine's withering body with the satisfaction it wouldn't be long until she was dead. I had loved this woman, spilled blood for this woman, and in turn spilled her blood. Even while mortal she seemed to be impervious to death, but now it was tapping on her door and I wanted to usher it in with open arms and a jovial smile.

This had nothing to do with fucking or being fucked: two things I was more than familiar with. I couldn't even say this had anything to do with justice. I could blame all my problems on Katherine, but that would be like pointing the finger at my mother and cursing her for giving birth to me. She wasn't responsible for the choices I made, but it would be _so _easy, tremendously easy to blame Katherine for all the shit I did in my hundred and seventy-four years.

But hadn't I just shouted at her doppelganger to stop defending me?

Watching Katherine die was like watching the fall of an empire. Her tyrannical reign would be over and I could feast now that that dark cloud had been removed from my head. Only…I didn't really feel it budge in any direction.

Stefan said he wanted to honor Katherine being a survivor, for eluding Klaus for five hundred years, and for doing what she had to. All right, I could see what he meant, but I felt Stefan was being a dumbass for having compassion for the bitch that compelled him to love her. Maybe he wanted to have selective memory and give Katherine a pass now that she was dying, but I wasn't going to be so lenient. I couldn't afford to be.

If it hadn't been for her I wouldn't have hated my brother. _That _I could place wholeheartedly on her shoulders.

She mumbled something and I strained my ears to listen. Katherine spoke a name. _Stefan_. Of course.

"Not him, sugar dumpling."

Katherine groaned and attempted to sit up against the stack of pillows propping her up. Those doe-brown eyes fluttered a couple of times before she found the strength to open them. When she did, I remained perfectly still. A corner of her lip pulled down and I knew she was disappointed it wasn't the Salvatore she wanted to play vigil by her bedside. Tough shit. Not everyone could get what they wanted when they wanted to get it. If that wasn't a lesson I had learned repeatedly through the decades, then I was still waiting to be schooled.

"Ugh," Katherine's raspy voice irritated my ears like rocks on a cheese grater. "It's you. Come to say goodbye?"

"Among other things," I indicated the pillow in my hands.

She attempted to laugh. "Not surprised you would try to smother me to death. Though I expected Caroline to do the honors. Payback and all that. So let's get this over with, shall we. Say, "Die bitch. You ruined my life, and don't deserve another second on this planet.' I rather go now before I start to go bald, deaf, blind, and my tits start to sag."

Yep, still vain. I tossed the pillow on the bed and pulled up the chair Stefan had occupied earlier. I took a seat and cocked my head to the side. "What kind of person would that make me if I were to give you a concession and put you out of your misery?"

"I'd do it for you."

"Katherine, I know you're fond of lying, but let's at least try to be honest with one another since these are your final moments on earth. I don't know about you, but I feel like kicking up my heels."

"Gonna dance on my grave?"

"And piss on it."

Katherine laughed merrily…as best as she could and thereafter proceeded to have a coughing fit. Not a drop of blood leaked from her chapped lips. Pity. Her organs were still intact.

She fixed her quizzical gaze on me. "I know why I went for you, but…"

"But what?" I asked when she didn't appear to want to finish her thought.

Her eyes closed and I figured old timers must have caught up with her. I sighed heavily and then, Katherine was rapt once more. Focused. "Being these are my final moments, I might as well tell you the truth. Be honest with you," she paused for a second to catch her breath then rasped, "I lied."

My eyebrows jumped. "Really? Hadn't guessed that," I replied flippantly.

"You think you have me figured out. That was probably always your weakness when it came to me, Damon. You prided yourself on knowing me, but you only knew the parts of me that I_ allowed_ you to see. Was any of it real? How could you be so sure? Because I never compelled you? I don't need compulsion to lie. And that's what our entire relationship was based on. A lie."

If she was hoping I'd keep my composure, Katherine had about five seconds left before I went the hell off. Still to this day I had no idea why she got under my skin the way she did. I knew it had to be for a much deeper reason than the fact I bought her bullshit with credit and was still paying off that bitch. Maybe the reason was I could never outsmart her. Maybe because I tricked myself into thinking I was her match and really we had been matchless the entire time. She was older, stronger, more cunning, and all I had to stand on was promise and bravado.

"All right," I sat forward and braced my elbows on my knees. "What did you lie about?"

"Loving you."

Blink. Excuse me what?

"I did," Katherine nodded as if reading my mind. "I loved you, Damon because you were so desperate for love…like I was…several hundred years before we met. Stefan gave off this confidence of being completely comfortable in his skin, and I gravitated toward that. You, wanted to rebel and in your own way you did, but it was never enough to get the results you wanted. That's why I wanted you both. You both represented the different sides of myself. I had a baby out of wedlock and shamed my family. You deserted the army and embarrassed your father. My love for Stefan may have been stronger, but I did love you. I still do."

Somewhere in the distance I listened to the thump of her heart. Katherine Petrova Pierce was telling the absolute gotdamn truth. And I didn't know what I was supposed to do with that. Say 'Thanks for having a moment of decency. Guess you're not such an evil whore after all'?

Katherine didn't appear to be waiting for me to reciprocate with a grand declaration of my own. You know, something along the lines of 'I'll keep your memory alive for as long I shall live', or some shit Stefan would undoubtedly say to give her peace. Whatever.

During our silent interim, I rose from the chair and made my way to the door.

The one thing I wanted for so long, two separate Petrova's telling me they loved me had me completely stumped. This shit wasn't supposed to happen. This could have been the equivalent of playing the same number for years and finally winning the lottery. I didn't feel like a winner since both Petrovas had slipped through my fingers, and once upon a time that would have burned me from the inside out and knotted my stomach. But today, today that hollow, you'll-never-be-good-enough-or-right-for-me feeling was missing. It had been filled. With what? I had no idea.

"Damon?"

I halted despite the rest of my body wanting to keep walking out the door. I didn't turn around to face Katherine. "What?" I said over my shoulder.

"I hope you find a girl who doesn't have to change who she is completely to be with you."

I grunted and stomped out of the room adding the dramatic effect of slamming the door after my departure. As much as I knew that was a dig at Elena, even I wasn't stupid enough not to see how much she _had _changed since being with me. Whether you could blame it on her transitioning or just turning numb to all the death happening, I had to admit very quietly to myself that Elena was not the girl I fell in love with. She changed to fit into my world. I tried to change to fit into hers, but we missed something fundamentally important. We should have meshed together; but we were square pegs trying to squeeze ourselves into round holes.

Lust couldn't be used as glue to keep a relationship together. And when things were all said and done, that's truly all we had.

Leave it to Katherine to make me reflect on my failed relationship, and true to her form the bitch died later on that night.

* * *

**Two days later…**

Standing under the showerhead with the privilege of seeing myself naked, my forehead was pressed against the cold, marble tiles. My mind was a mess, my head was in a constant fog and there wasn't a clear cut explanation for it. Medicating with booze and heavy flirting with the new bartender knowing it wouldn't go anywhere hadn't done a gotdamn thing in removing that stupid, annoying cloud. No need in denying the inevitable; I was in a rut.

Blindly I reached for the knobs of the shower, switched them off, and stepped out making a puddle on the floor.

My thoughts drifted to Katherine's speedy funeral. Stefan, with Caroline's help organized the whole she-bang. I showed up at the last second and dumped a handful of dirt on the casket that was more than likely stolen, caught eyes with my brother briefly who nodded and walked off.

What I needed to say Katherine I had done that already, maybe not to her dying face, but I repeated my speech so many times in my head it would have been overkill to say the words out loud. Plus, she was dead and it wasn't like my words would have any kind of effect on her. Our history had come to a dramatic end just as it had had a dramatic beginning, and one of these days I would allow the emotions that sprung up to have their way, but for now they were going to stay buried.

After toweling myself dry I entered my bedroom dropping the dampened piece of cloth on the floor with the intent to throw it in the wash later. A knock sounded on the door prompting me to turn around, and before I gave the order for the person to enter (to their own detriment), the door creaked open and newly resurrected Bonnie Bennett stepped over the threshold.

"Damon?"

I planted my hands on my hips and greeted her with an ear-to-ear grin. "Yes?"

It may have taken her a few seconds to realize that yes—I was standing in the buff. In front of her. Shamelessly. And without a hint of decorum. It was amusing to watch the blood rush to her cheeks _after _she scanned me from head to toe, but it was too late to take back the fact she paused and ogled my slumbering python. It was magnificent to behold. I must say so myself.

"Oh," spilled from her lips and her back slammed into the door inadvertently closing it. "Shit," she quickly spun around and grabbed the handle and, ta-da the object popped off in her hand. "Shit!" she repeated, her voice higher than usual and spiked with anxiety.

"Was there something you wanted?" I asked calmly.

"Um…er…I broke your doorknob and…now I'm stuck in here with you. Can…can you put some clothes on and see if you can open the door?" she sputtered nervously.

Sauntering to the door, ignoring her request to dress, I plucked the doorknob out of her hands. Bonnie jumped back as if I suddenly combusted. In all fairness, I _was _mooning her, but really what was the big deal? I had a penis. Shaft, head, balls, the end. Unless of course this was her first time seeing a man naked. I could believe it considering the _boy_ she was dating.

I stuck the doorknob back into the hole she ripped it out of, jiggled it into place and well, nothing happened.

"I don't think you're doing that right," Bonnie moved to intervene but I planted myself in the way and again she took a giant step away from me and averted her eyes.

With her trying her damnedest not to look at me I looked at her. Now that I thought about it this was our first time being alone since her resurrection. I had been too busy torturing Professor Shady Pants 2.0, fed on, being kidnapped, and dumping her best friend for us to "reconnect" whereas Bonnie—I rather not think about what she had been up to. Yet it made me curious as to why she was here. In my bedroom.

"What are you doing here?" I asked while still making attempts at fixing the uncooperative doorknob. "Elena's not here. If you're looking for her."

"I came here for you…I mean I came here to talk to you."

"Oh, really?" my curiosity reared its persistent head. Bonnie seeking me out? I wondered who needed killing or stopping or whatever. Our interactions only bordered on finishing a job, carrying out a plan. There had been no in between with us. "About what?"

"I'll let you know as soon as you put some pants on." Pause. "Can't you just break down the door? Kick it in, or out in our case?"

"I could but do you know how much repairs would cost? Contractors can be a real pain in the ass, and this door is an antique. I rather not mess it up. Stefan should be home soon enough. He'll let us out."

The color literally drained from Bonnie's face. A face that was shaped by chin length black hair. I wasn't completely sold if I liked the makeover she underwent. I didn't mind the short skirt she currently had on since it showed off her killer legs. And her V neck short sleeved shirt showed just enough cleavage to keep a one-track mind fellow like myself guessing. Hair and clothes aside, Bonnie had looks that could get her anything she wanted if she knew how to flaunt and apply them properly. She didn't. She settled with being comfortable and approachable, but her heritage alone made her circle in a stratosphere unreachable by most men.

Giving up on trying to fix the door, which I very well could have with enough patience, I ended the peepshow by heading for my closet and throwing on the first available pair of jeans and shirt I could find.

When I reentered my boudoir, Bonnie hadn't moved a single inch. Her eyes on the other hand took a thorough tour of my room. Even I couldn't overlook the fact this room was a man's wet dream come to life. Had plenty of space, a big bed large enough to do several sexual acts on without falling off, leather, nothing too garish or pretentious. Masculine.

"So you came here to talk, Judgy. So talk."

"I thought we put that colorful nickname to rest."

"Did we?" I shrugged a shoulder. "I don't exactly remember agreeing to that," I picked up my discarded towel off the floor and flicked in the direction of the hamper in my closet. It landed in its intended target.

I still hadn't made up my bed so that was the next thing I took care of. Everywhere I moved, Bonnie followed with her eyes. Usually that kind of thing would aggravate me to no end, but I didn't mind. Bonnie had this way about her that made me pay close attention to nearly everything, not missing a beat, mostly so I wouldn't be caught slipping. Naturally that information would remain in my special vault for shit people didn't need to know about me.

She sighed and I glanced at her. Bonnie was pinching the bridge of her nose. I grinned a little.

"Anyways," she said eventually, "I came all the way over here because there's something I neglected to do."

"That being?" I punched my pillows until they were perfect and then pulled the duvet over them.

Heels tapped on the floor and a hand began to straighten out the wrinkles in the comforter. Bonnie and I connected—optically speaking and she held my penetrating gaze for a second longer than she would have in the past before lowering her stare to the task at hand. I wondered if she was thinking about the last time she helped me unfurl something.

"I never thanked you."

Her words halted all activity. My muscles stiffened and I told myself to breathe. Being dead I didn't exactly need air but it was nice to take in the air around me. It helped pinpoint where things or people were. Bonnie's scent, little by little was overpowering the natural smell of my room. She didn't smell like fruit, lilies, or some insipid shit like that. Underneath the French perfume, I could detect faint hints of earth, sunshine, sandalwood, and…death.

That was new but it made sense. Bonnie now being the anchor to the Other Side, she had one foot in the real world, and the other in a supernatural purgatory. So of course I would smell death on her, and that dredged up memories of the fact she had been dead and I had been balls deep in her friend all summer long without noticing.

I swallowed the pool of saliva that convalesced down my throat, and waited for her to continue.

She did and somewhat with less confidence than I've seen her exercise in a while. Glad to know I still had the goods to make someone nervous.

"I never thanked you for all that you did in bringing me back. I was going to right after but then," she hesitated and I could tell she was editing her response, "as usual things kept popping up, and the timing never felt right. So thank you, Damon from the bottom of my heart."

Bonnie added a heartfelt smile that made something dormant inside of me swell.

"Well, you're welcome," I cleared my throat. Seems the women in my life whether friend, foe, or nothing at all wouldn't stop ceasing to amaze me.

"Why did you?"

Now that question, not gonna lie, caught me slightly off guard. I thought I had made my intentions blatantly clear when I had a confab with Haley Joel Osmet aka Jeremy on why I had been willing to make a deal with the devil and then later on his jilted old lady in bringing her back.

"You know why," I retorted plainly. "I did it for Elena."

Words we used so often we basically hid behind them.

Bonnie nodded but from the look on her face she didn't exactly buy into my four-word explanation.

"Do you think there was another reason?" I questioned and folded my arms across my chest.

"There's a lot of bad history between us, Damon. And I can't say that at the time of my death that all was forgiven, or that you purposely tried to hurt me, but there was no reason for you to go to the lengths you did to bring me back. You couldn't have been afraid Elena would flip her switch again after learning I died to give her, her brother back. She had you. She had Jeremy. She had Caroline."

_She had Stefan_ was left unspoken, and I felt yet another pang remembering my brother had spent the summer of _my_ life entombed in a safe drowning repeatedly. Maybe in my own misguided way I didn't just want to save Bonnie, but Stefan too. I failed them both in different and eerily similar ways. Usually the one to notice when something was off and I couldn't make a connection. I hated myself for that.

"So what are you trying to say, Bonnie? I had an ulterior motive in not wanting your death over _Jeremy_," and I may have spat his name like a vile curse word, "to be the most significant thing you've ever done? To be the thing you're most remember for because that would have been sad as hell."

"I didn't know you cared…so much," she twisted her gold ring around her index finger. "When it comes to you I've gotten better at reading between the lines, but your reaction to my death…surprised me."

"I was surprised," she was getting too close to something.

"No one else would have sacrificed, without blinking an eye, the first woman they loved. Not for their girlfriend's best friend. That just doesn't make sense."

"Hardly anything I do makes sense. That's what makes me sparkle," I smiled. Bonnie did and laughed a little. The sound of it was…nice to hear. "Honestly, Bonnie what I did any decent person would have done. Especially considering all the times you came through for my ass. I…I wasn't ready for your story to be over yet."

By the time that finished rolling off my tongue Bonnie wasn't the only with a shocked expression on her face. Where the fuck did that come from?

"Now I have a question of my own," I moved around the bed and didn't stop walking until I stood in front of Bonnie. Only inches separated us. "Why did you want your death to be kept a secret? And don't tell me because you didn't want to ruin your friends' happiness. You're noble but hell _no one _is that damn selfless."

For a second Bonnie appeared as if she wanted to refute my claim but then decided not to.

"When Matt died briefly and he was on the Other Side, I told him I wasn't ready to be dead yet. Dying had been painful enough, and letting everyone know, I felt I would only relive that again. It happened so suddenly," Bonnie looked away traveling in her own world, a place where I couldn't follow. "I just…I had tapped into three different kinds of magic. I felt it circling me, warming me, singing to me that I could do it. I could raise the dead, and I just gave in. _All_. _The_. _Way_," her eyes closed as if savoring that feeling of handling apocalyptic levels of magic.

Her skin flushed, her scent increased, and it became a task on my end to take a step back because I had been leaning toward her as she described her final moments on earth. Death drew in death. She being the beacon, and myself being a harbinger interesting things could happen.

"I thought I was protected," she said. "I didn't think anything could hurt me. I was high and empowered and then in seconds it was over. Like a blade cut off my head from the rest of my body. Everything just shut down. My heart stopped pumping, my blood stopped flowing and I was disconnected. Not just from nature, but from life itself. I was dead. Not a spark. _Nothing_. I never felt more alone than I did the moment I died."

Chills ran over me because I had been there, a hundred and forty-seven years before. I knew _exactly _what that felt like.

Tears lined the bottom of her verdant orbs and I wondered if she'd let them fall. Bonnie didn't make it a habit to cry in front of me. I've seen her look sad, but actually balling like a baby, not in front of me. I could admit to being a bit apprehensive yet fascinated to see if it would happen.

"I didn't want to have to take back what I did," Bonnie craned her neck to stare up at me. I wasn't overly tall but she was one of the few chicks I did know who made me feel like a giant. I secretly kind of enjoyed that. "I didn't want to have to admit I made a mistake, bit off more than I could chew, so I decided to live in denial. So long as my friends were happy I could trick myself into thinking I did the right thing."

I had to shake my head at that. "There's nothing right in dying for someone who's already dead!" Bonnie flinched, I kept going. "I think our problem is we don't trust Elena to be strong enough to handle anything and we feel it's up to us to fix it. To make her boo-boos better. That's not helping. That's enabling and that's what Jeremy did to you."

Bonnie's nostrils flared. "He didn't enable me! He carried out my wishes."

I rolled my eyes. "He enabled you, and then sat on his ass for three months and didn't do anything, from what I could tell thinking back on everything, to find a way to resurrect you. I feel the love."

"Shut up! I came here to do the right thing and say thank you but leave it up to you to turn a thank you into a fuck you."

My eyebrows catapulted right off my forehead. "Bonnie, such language," I goaded and ignored that small little twitch in my cock at hearing her use such language.

"How'd that sire bond work out for you?"

Shots fired, I thought and scowled. Bonnie instantly appeared mortified by what she said.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought that up."

"I'm sure you got a front row seat in how things worked out for me while you rotted on the other side," I retaliated. Yep her mocha cheeks darkened to russet. "I spy with my naked eye—,"

"Oh, be quiet," the little girl interrupted and fought to keep the smile off her face. "I didn't see anything."

"You just saw something a minute ago," I reminded her.

"A little something."

"Liar."

"This conversation has officially turned ridiculous. I said my piece and now it's time for me to go."

"Can't. Have you forgotten we're kind of trapped in here?" I wiggled my eyebrows.

"There are windows which I'm sure can be opened. Just jump down, walk around the house, and open the door from the other side," the former witch suggested.

Instead of doing that I threw my body across my bed. Talking with Bonnie made me realize I only interacted with the same damn people day in and day out. It was nice to word spar with someone else especially with someone who never cowered or back down from me in an argument. Though months prior to her death the Bonnie I had come to know and expect to show up slowly began to fade away and in her place was an automaton of sorts. It was pleasing to see she still possessed that Bennett fire yet also the fire that was so uniquely hers. It would have been a pity if she had left that behind.

"Damon, come on. I have things to do."

"The world won't stop spinning just because you hit pause. Jeremy can survive without you for a couple of hours, can't he? Wait what am I saying? Of course he can't. You do realize you're dating Kenny, right?"

"Kenny?"

I sighed in exasperation. I thought I was dealing with the pop culture generation. Guess I was wrong. "Kenny from South Park?"

"Oh," clarity dawned her. A second later, "Shut up," she chastised.

I laughed and then tapped the space next to me.

Bonnie didn't move a muscle, but she did tell me, "Jeremy and I…aren't exactly dating."

I held up a hand to stop her. "I don't even want to think about what the two of you do in your spare time. I will be just fine in my immortality not knowing _that_."

"It's not what you think," Bonnie eased her way on my bed, but remained parked right on the edge. "We've talked about things that happened and well, we're just friends right now. I don't want him to feel obligated to be with me because he was the only person I could talk to when I was dead. Puts a damper on the romance."

"Smart. You want to know what you have is real and not…" well shit. Seems I understood Bonnie better than I wanted to admit.

"And not?" she prodded.

"And not faked, forced, or someone standing by their choice so they won't have to eat their words that they were wrong."

"Is that how you feel about Elena?"

I had a better question for her. "You think you can love someone for all the wrong reasons and still be happy?"

"I don't know. I've only ever loved one person. But I rather be loved for myself, as I am and not because of what someone thinks they can make me into." Pause. "How do you feel about Katherine being dead?"

"Relieved."

"I know this isn't any of my business, but do you think you might try to work things out with Elena?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to?"

"Sure I may want to but…"

"What would be the point because you're so different? Too different that the only thing you agree on is the fact you're different. There's more to life than being in love."

I swung my head in Bonnie's direction and those ever knowledgeable orbs were locked on me. A new kind of tension, I could feel, was forming between us. Deeper than cognizance. I didn't know what it meant or if continuing with this conversation would be a good idea. We were looking for something but seeking it out in one another was the wrong road to travel.

Bonnie seemed to get that as she dropped her eyes and pursed her lips.

"I know there's more to life than being in love. But what is life without love? And I'm not just talking about the romantical kind, either."

"Romantical is so not a word," she giggled.

"Don't tell Flavor Flav that."

Bonnie howled for a good thirty seconds and seeing her laugh, really laugh pushed that cloud from over my head just a fraction.

"You really are funny when you're not being sarcastic and condescending," she said.

"Sarcastic and condescending humor is the best. You're missing out."

"I'll live."

"You most certainly will," and I may have said that more seriously than I needed to.

Bonnie quickly sobered and stared at me askance. "I remember."

"You remember what?"

"The hug…on the island. I didn't remember anything because of Silas' tampering but when I died all my memories came back and I remembered the way you looked so relieved to see me, and then we hugged. I had to be out of my mind for that to happen," she snorted weakly.

"Was hugging me such a terrible ordeal?"

"No," Bonnie shook her head. "It was nice." Someone must have paid her to say that with a straight face.

"It was okay," I feigned nonchalantly.

"Well," Bonnie twisted on the bed and sat lotus style. "It wasn't a hug to end all hugs and barely lasted ten seconds. I've given and received better hugs."

"You want a do over or something?"

"No!"

"You don't have to yell. I'm sitting right here. And I'll take your heightened response as a yes. So come come," I waved her over.

Bonnie, ever the obstinate being remained parked on her voluptuous derrière. I may have snuck a few peeks when she came over the other day. Her jeans were tight; her jacket was short. Not my fault.

"Bonnie if you don't come to me I'll be forced to come to you," I warned.

"Fine," she huffed after a couple seconds of indecision.

"You sure about this?" I teased and tested her. "You might get hooked."

"It's just a hug."

"All right. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Just don't touch anything below my waist," ah yes there it was. The threat which made those viridian eyes glow.

"Just come here."

Bonnie inched her way closer, leaned, and not before long her arm was sliding across my shoulders. She tucked her chin in the space where my neck and shoulder connected. Her hair tickled my cheek, and being this close to her, this close to her warmth made her feel more real to me. I knew she was real. Could see her with my perfect vision, but for that week where I became aware of her incorporeal-ness and I couldn't see her and all communication had been to be done through Jeremy, having her in my arms made me realize I missed her.

How could I have possibly missed someone who I viewed more as a nuisance to my conscience as opposed as a friend? Friends told each other the truth and Bonnie and I had always been bitingly honest with one another. I couldn't lie to her for some reason. Still, none of that negated the fact I had missed her ass.

Carefully I wrapped one arm across her mid-back and because she was so tiny my hand ended up on her stomach. The other, I brought up and cupped the back of her neck and then pulled her flush against me.

Bonnie gasped because, well, she was kind of sitting on my lap. My jaw tightened out of reflex. Her warm skin penetrated through the thin material of my black shirt. Her breasts felt awesome, won't lie about that, and having her this close tempted the vampire in me to make a flamboyant entrance.

Cocking my head at an angle I kissed her cheek, and waited to see if she'd draw back, pull away and slap me into the middle of next week. When none of the above happened, I kissed her jaw, right under her ear, and planted my final kiss to her temple.

"I missed you," I whispered so inaudibly I didn't think she heard me.

Her breathing deepened, I heard the blood rushing through her veins. Her soft heartbeat became a jackhammer.

"It hurts, Damon."

I thought I was holding her too tight and loosened my grip which prompted Bonnie to tighten hers around me.

"What does?" I asked.

"When they die and pass through me…I feel the pain of their death."

My eyes widened at this news. "And that happens all the time?" Bonnie nodded. "Again with the keeping secrets, Judgy. That's a nasty habit I'm going to have to break you out of."

She chortled and sniffled. "I don't know how to make it stop."

"Then we'll find a way to stop it," I promised.

"What if there is no way?"

"There's always an alternative."

Bonnie cleared her throat and then slid away. After I permitted her to of course.

Once she was on her side of the bed, Bonnie wouldn't make eye contact with me no matter how hard I stared at her.

"We're going to find a way like we always do," I reiterated.

"I know we will. I just needed to hear someone say it."

We grew quiet for a second and I hated awkward silences with a passion.

"The second hug was better than the first, wouldn't you agree?" I asked to kind of release some of the built up pressure that accumulated in the small space separating us.

Bonnie laughed, "You always kiss and hug at the same time?"

"Those were friendly pecks. Trust me, they didn't mean anything."

"I know they didn't," Bonnie quickly agreed with my lie.

We both knew me kissing _her _meant more than an act of civility. So long as our lips and other body parts didn't touch no girl code laws were broken. I knew that's what she was most worried about. Betraying Elena by making moves or making out with her ex.

Truth be told I hadn't really thought about Elena from the moment Bonnie poked her head in my room and got a good look at my junk. Now with this new issue in my hands, I felt her slipping farther and farther into the background.

"If I had to do it all over again," I said. Bonnie finally gave me the courtesy of giving me her attention, "I'd bring back you every single time."

"You would? For Elena?"

"No. For you."

Bonnie started to say something but the moment was interrupted by someone knocking on my door. I listened for who it was.

"Damon?"

"Yeah, Stefan?"

"You got a minute?"

Bonnie slid off the bed and went to the door. "Stefan can you open the door?"

"Bonnie?" Stefan's voice was dripping in surprise. "You're in there with Damon?"

Bonnie and I sighed and rolled our eyes. "Captain Obvious to the rescue. Again," I muttered and climbed off the bed. "She broke my doorknob and we can't get out."

Seconds later the door flew open and I had to pull Bonnie out of the way or she would have been pancaked. My brother stood in the threshold looking between us, suspiciously, trying to arrive at the correct conclusion. With Bonnie's clothes still intact along with mine and the noticeable absence of the aroma of sex it was clear we hadn't been up to anything illicit. But I knew my brother. He would pester me with this until I snapped and told him a lie that wouldn't do anyone any good. Least of all Bonnie.

"What were you two doing?" Stefan asked.

"Talking," the former witch and myself spoke in unison. "We were talking," we parroted one another. Now if that didn't sound rehearsed.

We looked at each other. "Stop repeating everything that I say," our words flowed together like milk and honey.

Bonnie held up a hand that she was going to speak and I was to keep quiet. She brought those eyes to my brother. "I just came to have a word with Damon," she tossed me a glance. "And I've said what needed to be said."

"Well, all right," Stefan said cautiously. "I ran into Caroline not too long ago. She's looking for you."

"I'll give her call. I left my cell at the dorm. I'll see you later, Damon. Bye Stefan."

I wiggled my fingers at Bonnie's retreating back. Naturally taking a moment to enjoy the sway of her hips. I was so into watching that when Stefan stepped into my line of sight he startled me.

"You're supposed to be in love with Elena and Bonnie's in love with Jeremy."

Yeah, wouldn't be too sure about the latter.

"Maybe you didn't get the memo, little brother but Elena and I are over. "

"That may be so but starting something with her best friend—tactless."

"Like I give a shit about being tactless. I thought you of all people would rejoice in the fact that Elena and I are no longer together. What was it you said to me after you dumped her? 'Don't pretend as if this isn't the happiest day of your life.' Take your own advice, Stefan, and go throw a parade. And besides, I don't want Bonnie."

Stefan grinned and it was the kind of grin that said 'I know something you don't and I'm not going to tell you what it is'.

"Oh, really? Why don't you tell that to the boner you're packing in your shorts?"

I looked down my body and sure enough there was an erection there at full salute. _At ease soldier_, I mentally tried to calm little big buddy down.

"Looks like I have some business to handle. Now if you'll excuse me," I motioned toward the door for Stefan to walk his intrusive ass out of it. He did and trapped me in my room again.

"Can you go one day without getting me in trouble?" I asked of my dick and it jumped in response.

With nothing to do but kill time, I snatched my iPod and surfed through my playlists. And while I surfed Katherine's words came back to me.

"_I hope you find a girl who doesn't have to change who she is completely to be with you." _

"Yeah, I hope so too, Kat. I hope so, too."

Now to strategize. How to how spare the anchor of the world from feeling pain.

**The End.**

**A/N: Having Damon blame Katherine for all of HIS mistakes was a bitch move by the writers. They took him all the way back to square zero and I'm not here for character de-evolution so my version of their final conversation would have gone like I've written. What did we think of the Bamon-ness? Though I would have liked for them to jump the particulars and roll around, in staying true to their characters they just aren't at the point yet. So forgiveness there wasn't any lemony goodness, but this would have been a nice launch to a Bamon friendship since we've been denied a one-on-on speaking scene of just to the two of them 12 episodes into the season. But I hoped you still enjoyed it just the same. Reviews are love. Thank you, kittens for reading. Off to bed now. **


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